he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
