I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
