he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
