I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You are the jesus of drinking
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
