They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
