Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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