Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize