If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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