before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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