two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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