Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
