dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
