he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
time to smoke my breakfast
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
