if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
