maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The air was thick with penises
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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