Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
