She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
That was before I lit my hair on fire
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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