Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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