I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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