Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
