I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
