I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
