omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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