Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
