No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We need a shit load of segways right now
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
