Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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