Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
