This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
