i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
