she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
