We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
