Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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