The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you traded sex for a burrito?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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