Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
