Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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