Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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