3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize