i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
