i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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