that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
