i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
