I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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