Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
