Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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