I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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