It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
