SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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