My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
