Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
