did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize