Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think my moral compass just broke
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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