I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
