all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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