i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
