Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
