And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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