im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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