i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
