Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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