I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
