Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
