Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
