I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
